


How Do You Love Someone

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol-Induced Sex, Alternate Universe - Family, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Burning, Child Abuse, Cutting, Depression, Dom Dean Winchester, Drug Use, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Smut, Sub Castiel, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, Underage Smoking, they make out a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:31:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was just an ordinary kid who lived an ordinary life, went to an ordinary school, wore ordinary clothes, and that was it. Nothing else to it. That's the way everyone saw him. And that's the way he wanted them to see him. They didn't need to know about his abusive family, his substance abuse, his depression. That was for him to know, and no one ever to find out. He was just ordinary, boring, normal Castiel Novak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Castiel was just an ordinary kid who lived an ordinary life, went to an ordinary school, wore ordinary clothes, and that was it. Nothing else to it. That's the way everyone saw him. And that's the way he wanted them to see him. They didn't need to know about his abusive family, his substance abuse, his depression. That was for him to know, and no one ever to find out. He was just ordinary, boring, normal Castiel Novak.  
He would say he has ordinary friends but Charlie, Kevin, and Balthazar are far from that. Balthazar is probably Castiel's closest friend. They've known each other for as long as he can remember and with the little trust Castiel had, he trusted Balthazar. To an extent. Castiel never told him about his home life or any of his real issues but when Castiel needed someone to be there he was always there. Kevin is super smart and even though he is kinda closed off he's a good friend. Charlie. Charlie is, well, she's Charlie. An amazing, spunky, high energy, loving, confident girl. The exact opposite of Castiel. He often wonders if she's only his friend because she pities him for only having two friends beside herself. It doesn't make sense why she hangs out with him almost everyday after school. Why she confides everything in him without worrying that he'll tell someone. Well, that's not much of a worry because the only people he could really tell would be Kevin, who would be indifferent about whatever it was and get back to his constant studding, and Balthazar, who most likely already knows because he is scary good at reading people's emotions and finding out how they're feeling and what's going on with them. He's like Sherlock Holmes. He can tell you what you ate for lunch just by looking at you. Kevin thinks he has a control problem and stalks everyone so he can always know what's going on. He said he saw him messing with the cameras in the cafeteria once but that's probably paranoia from all the sci-fi stuff Kevin reads. But back to Charlie.  
Castiel was walking home from a particularly shitty day of school hoping he could avoid getting kidnapped by Charlie and just go home and sulk by himself. He had no luck. Before he could get even a block away from the school a yellow car drives up beside him, the door opens and suddenly they're are arms around him throwing him in the back seat. Once he's in the car another person wearing a black ski mask puts a hand around his mouth and grabs him restricting his movements. The person who threw him in the car gets in the front seat. There's a driver too but everyone is wearing masks and he can't recognize anyone. As soon as the car door shuts they're speeding down the road. Castiel internally starts freaking out. He's being kidnapped. He knows this is Charlie's car but he can't see if any of these people are Charlie. The one who threw him in, his hands were too big to be Charlie. The one holding him right now obviously isn't her. He's toned and has strong, muscular arms. If this man wasn't kidnapping Castiel he might even venture he felt safe and protected in those arms. Wait. This is definitely a guy. Castiel was straight. This was just stress or anxiety talking or something. Castiel, momentarily forgetting his situation, tried to shake his head to clear his thoughts but is stopped by the hand over his mouth keeping his head still. He starts to panic again. These people weren't Charlie, he was almost sure. But this is Charlie's car. So where the Hell is Charlie? Did they take her too? Did they steal her car and leave her somewhere? Did they hurt her? Did they kill her? His thoughts are interrupted by a bump in the road sending him up in the air and sense he was not buckled he ended up in his captors lap. The man holding him looked down at him and he had the most beautiful green eyes. Castiel swore that if landing on a stranger's lap didn't make him blush as hard as he could then this guy making intense eye contact with him did. Castiel averted his eyes out the window and saw that they were approaching a junkyard with a house in the middle of it. The building looked dilapidated and abandoned. Oh god. They are taking him to the middle of nowhere and they're gonna kill him. They stopped when they approached the building and the door was opened and he was thrown out of the car. When he turned round to look back at his captors the one with the big hands, and big everything else cause this guy was as big as a moose, had a gun and was pointing it at him. The one with the beautiful green eyes lifted him up and put his arms behind his back and led him into the house. He was on the verge of having a panic attack once he was shoved into the house and onto the couch. He looked up at his captors, green eyes, moose, and the one who must have been the driver. Obviously a girl but that's was all he could tell. The moose was pointing the gun at him still and his finger was over the trigger. Right as he was about to shoot a loud voice sounded through the room.  
"What the Hell are you kids doing? And who the hell is on the couch? Is this another one of your sick pranks? Take those masks off ya’ idjits." They all turned around and green eyes threw off his mask and angrily replied.  
"Come on Bobby! You ruined it!" When he turned back around he was smiling and looking at Castiel. He had slight stubble, dirty blonde short hair, and those gorgeous green eyes. Castiel decided to ignore that thought about the eyes and focus back on his smile. But it wasn't a sick evil smile, it was a sincere smile. Then everyone, Except the man Bobby and Castiel, started laughing and taking their masks off. The one he deemed moose Has shoulder length brown straight hair and brown eyes. When the driver took off her mask Castiel fell off the couch onto the ground in shock, or whatever the Hell he was feeling. He looked up from the ground and croaked out,  
"C-Charlie?" He hadn't realized it but he was shaking. He clenched his hands in his trench coat. His breathing was shallow and he was having a panic attack. Before he knew it Charlie fell to the ground and had her arms around him and was stroking his hair and holding him.  
"Shh, shh. I'm sorry big guy. I didn't mean to freak you out this bad." Castiel was crying now. He was so confused. What was going on? He just buried his head into Charlie's shoulder and let his emotions sort themselves out. Finally when he calmed down he lifted his head to meet Charlie's gaze. Still not trusting his voice but wanting some answers he stuttered out,  
"W-what's-going on? Who a-are t-th-these people?" Moose and green eyes smiled but only for a second before mock hurt was all over their faces. Green eyes spoke first.  
"Celeste Middleton Bradbury Winchester. How could you not tell your best friend about you amazing, charming, attractive, intelligent-"  
"Don't get ahead of yourself, only one of us is intelligent mister 'D- is still passing'." Green eyes put a hand over Moose's mouth and continued.  
"wonderful, loyal, and did i mention charming, big brothers?" As Charlie turned around to face her brothers she groaned and rolled her eyes before saying,  
"One, never, ever, ever, use my full name. And two, I wanted it to be a surprise and there's really not much to talk about. Sam is basically a really big Kevin and i don't really feel comfortable talking about your 'after school activities' with my friends. Sorry not sorry." She stuck her tongue out at green eyes whose name Castiel still had no idea about. Moose- Sam doubled over laughing. Green eyes glared at him before jumping up onto his back with one arm around his neck and the other messing up his hair. Sam cried out,  
"Hey! Dean! What the Hell?! Get off of me! No! Stop messing with my hair!" and continued to try and rid himself of the green eyed man named Dean. At this point Charlie had jumped in too and was hanging on Sam's legs tying his shoelaces together while he was distracted. The room erupted into loud chatter as everyone was saying different things and it was basically just white noise because nothing was understandable. As all of this was happening Castiel just sat there on the floor watching. Charlie had brothers. He couldn't help but smile. They all looked so happy together. The three siblings had now gotten the forgotten man Bobby involved as he was now trying to pry Charlie and Dean away from Sam. Castiel let out a small chuckle at how much of a family they were. As soon as that sound left him the room was quiet and all eyes were on him. Dean was the first to speak with his arm still around Sam's neck and a fistful of his shirt in Bobby's hand.  
"And what's so funny angel boy?" Sam scrunched his nose and directed his gaze at Dean.  
"Angel boy?” Dean shrugged.  
"First thing that came to mind. Look at his bag." Castiel hadn't realized that he still had his bag over his shoulders. It was a white book bag with black wings spread out across it. Sam and Charlie both locked gazes and shrugged. Dean rolled his green eyes and spoke again.  
"Question still stands Angel-"  
"Okay, really Dean?" Sam interrupted. Dean wrapped the hand that was around sam's neck around his mouth and kept talking.  
"The kid hasn't given us his name. Now shut your cake hole." Sam rolled his eyes and then averted them to look at Castiel again. Everyone's gazes followed. Castiel felt really on the spot and looked toward the floor before speaking.  
"I just, you all, I don't know." Castiel smiled slightly.  
"It's nice seeing how much of a family you guys are and how well you all get along." Castiel hadn't realized it but silent tears were rolling down his cheeks. Charlie and, surprisingly, Dean were over to him within a heartbeat. Dean had a hand on his back rubbing soothing circles into it and Charlie was petting his hair and whispering calming nothings into his ears. Castiel had started to shake and was about to completely break down when Bobby's voice broke through the silence.  
"Looks like ya' idjits ripped the poor kid's shirt when ya' did, whatever ya' did to em'. Dean'll give you one a' his so ya' don' gotta wear that rag no more. Won’t ya' Dean?" Dean nodded respecting Bobby's word as law without argument. He offered his hand to Castiel and Castiel took it. Everything was in a haze. He couldn't think. His brain wasn't functioning and his body was moving on its own. Dean led Castiel away and down a hall until they reached a room that was most likely Dean's. It wasn't horribly messy, but it wasn't clean either. The odd shoe here and there, t-shirts, flannels, and jeans littered the floor, and there were piles of dvd's and books in all places. Dean led Castiel to the edge of his bed. He let go of Castiel's hand before speaking.  
"Sorry about the mess, and your shirt. You can take yours off and I'll toss it for you. You can use one of mine for now." Castiel nodded and sat down. Dean turned around and started rummaging through his drawers. Castiel took the opportunity while Dean's back was turned to take off his trench coat, but hesitating before his shirt. His hesitation didn't last long due to his hazy absent mindedness and he sat shirtless on the bed waiting for dean to give him something to wear. Dean turned around quickly and spoke while looking at the shirt he had chosen.  
"I don't know what size y-" Dean tripped on one of the many things on the floor and landed right on top of Castiel's, bare chest to chest. Castiel turned red immediately, the haze over his mind fading slightly realising what was happening. Dean looked kinda flustered too and went to get up. As soon as he moved though Castiel sucked in a sudden breath and his face got even redder. Dean had landed with one knee between Castiel's legs leaving them in an "uncomfortable position" every time he moved. Dean looked down at Castiel. His chest and face were flushed, his breathing was slightly heavier than normal breathing, his head was turned to the side, and his eyes were squeezed shut. Dean couldn't lie, looking at him like this, from this angle, was seriously turning him on. He shook his head trying to dismiss his inappropriate thoughts. One, he had just met the guy an hour ago, and two, this was his little sister's best friend. Dean was contemplating what to say to get out of this without it being too awkward when he finally noticed the slight bulge against his knee. Great, Dean thought. Not only am I turned on but so is he. He couldn't just let the guy walk out there half hard though. Dean shifted a bit out of uncomfortableness momentarily forgetting the man underneath him. Castiel gasped and bit his lip trying to keep from making any more sounds. Dean's mind went straight to the gutter. Ya' know what, Dean thought. Fuck it. He was hard and so was angel boy. Dean had done worse things and if the kid wanted to hate him after that then so be it. They were just sitting there doing nothing and Dean couldn't take it. He would be doing the kid a favor. This was probably better than having to explain why he had an erection after disappearing into his friends brothers room. Hesitantly Dean shifted his knee again. This time Castiel's hands flew up to his mouth and all Dean heard was a muffled moan. Yup, that went straight to his groin. No turning back now. And with that thought Dean started moving his knee back and forth in slow motion. Castiel's breathing was hitched and was biting his lip almost hard enough to bleed. Castiel felt like his body was on fire. Whatever haze clouded his mind earlier was back now and two times as strong. Dean’s movements got a little faster and Castiel's hands fell from his mouth and then clutched into the bed sheets. His breathing was heavy and so was Dean's. Dean sped up his movements a little more until he was going fast and they were both moving slightly to try and get more friction. Dean put a little more pressure into his movements and immediately Castiel let out a strangled moan and unclenched his fists from the sheets to wrap them around Dean's back and grab fistfuls of his shirt. Dean took this as a go ahead and lowered himself so that he was flush against Castiel replacing his knee with his own hips and grinding against him. Castiel arched his back up and let out another moan. Dean was starting to feel himself go over the edge every time he heard Castiel moan. Instinct took over and the only thing going through Dean's mind was that he needed to hear more of those amazing noises. Still keeping his pace grinding against Castiel Dean started trailing kisses down Castiel's neck. Castiel gasped sharply followed by a series of small moans. He dug his nails into Dean's clothed back and dragged them down pulling himself closer to dean, if that was even possible. His head was tilted to the side and Dean took advantage of that by working his way up Castiel's jaw line, sucking and leaving kisses all over. He started working his way down again when he founded the pulse in Castiel's neck. He licked over it and Castiel visibly shivered underneath him. Dean smirked and with that he bit roughly at Castiel's pulse making him arch his back and let out a loud strangled moan. Castiel was almost positive that he ripped holes in the shirt Dean was wearing after that. Dean kept biting and sucking at that spot on Castiel's neck and it was driving Castiel mad. Dean could feel how hard Castiel was and Dean was the same. Dean detached himself from Castiel's neck and moved up to his ear. He was breathing heavily and was on the edge and he wants Castiel to be there too. He got close enough to Castiel's so that could feel Dean’s breath on his ear and whispered,  
"Come for me angel." and bit Castiel's earlobe, tugging on it slightly with his teeth. Castiel let out a groan and his breathing sped up. Dean knew he was close. He stopped his grinding for a millisecond before taking his hips and grinding them back down again hard and leaving them there. Right as dean did that he grabbed Castiel's chin and roughly started kissing him, tongue and all. That pushed Castiel over the edge. He could feel heat pooling in his stomach and then he was letting out a lengthy moan into Dean's mouth as he climaxed. Dean was right behind him letting out a groan as he came. They stayed lip locked for what seemed like forever after they had both came. Dean was completely dominant. His tongue exploring every inch of Castiel's mouth and Castiel was just putty in his hands. Finally they pulled apart. A string of saliva between their lips as they separated but it quickly broke. Castiel buried his head in the crevice of Dean's neck as Dean collapsed on top of him. Both panting, both exhausted, Castiel's arms still around Dean and Dean holding onto Castiel. Eventually they fell asleep in each others arms.


	2. Two

Dean woke up first. He tried to roll over but his arms were wrapped around something and his legs felt like they were tangled. he opened his eyes and saw that his arms were around Charlie's friend Angel, since he was never given a name, and their legs were tangled together. Dean mentally slapped himself for sleeping with his sisters friend, not even an hour after he met the guy no less. He cringed as memories of what happened flooded back to him. Come for me angel? Really? Dean wanted to stab himself because of how stupid that that's sounded. Dean decide to stop punishing himself for his awful mistake and very carefully untangled himself from the boy and got out of the bed. After Dean had successfully got up without waking the angel he looked back over at the sleeping boy. What he saw he didn't know what to do with. All over his arms were, cuts, scars, and burns. some looked old, some looked like they couldn't be more than a couple of days old. His back was covered in what looked like whip marks. He had bruises starting at his lower back and disappearing underneath his jeans. Dean didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. He'd only dealt with something like this once before in his life and was when his little sister swallowed a bottle of pills when she was 15. She came running to Sam and him immediately, crying saying that she messed up. That messed Dean up for months and he still worries about Charlie all the time. Dean didn't know what he'd do if he found his brother with all these marks all over his body. God he'd probably fall to the ground and cry if he found Sammy like this. Then he'd get up and find the asshat who did that, screw the jail time. Dean was pulled from his thoughts when he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Shit. Dean had to think of something quick. He quickly looked around his room and his eyes settled on his TV and Xbox. He turned the TV and game console on and put in a random game. He grabbed two controllers and set them in front. He rushed over to the bed and started gently shaking angel boy until he woke up with a start. His eyes were wide as he was looking around and then he suddenly noticed his shirtlessness and tried to hide behind his arms. Dean took the forgotten AC/DC shirt he had picked out for him and put it over his head and threw his trench coat at him.  
"Get dressed and play along. I'll explain later." Dean was trying to make the game look like they had been playing it when he realized, his pants.   
"Fuck!" Dean cursed. He noticed that angel boy wasn't moving so he rushed over to him, put his arms through the short sleeves of the shirt, put his trench coat on him, and then picked him up and put him down in front of the TV. He put a pillow across angel's lap and one across his when he sat down. As soon as he pressed play on the game there was a knock at the door.  
"Hey, did you guys die?" Sam.  
"It's been 45 minutes, what the Hell are you guys doing?" Sam walked in and saw Castiel and Dean sitting in front of the TV with game controllers in their hands. Sam rolled his eyes.  
"Dude, are you really forcing him to play your shitty games? Really? If you're being held here against your will blink twice." Sam laughed. Castiel just kinda looked confused and Dean saw that. Before Sam could realize that anything was up Dean spoke.  
"Come on man, we're almost done with this level. 5 minutes." Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean and leaned against the door frame. Dean rolled his eyebrows and incredulously said,  
"Ppppleeeease?" Sam smiled and and started to walk away. Dean let out a sigh, but before he could even finish it Sam popped his head back in the doorway and scared the shit out of Dean making him jump. Sam didn't seem to notice as he said,  
"I can't guarantee you guys five minutes though cause i don't know how lightly Charlie will take to her older brother stealing her best friend." Dean's response was throwing a book at Sam. San dodged it and glared at Dean. Dean glared right back and said,  
"Bitch."  
"Jerk." And with that Sam left the room closing the door behind him. Dean quickly got up and went to the small bathroom attached to his room. He came out with a damp cloth and knelt down in front of Castiel.  
"Let's jet you cleaned up first angel cause it'll be easier to explain why I'm a mess rather than you." Dean started to unbutton Castiel's pants to clean the inside. He stopped before he pulled the zipper down and looked up at Castiel. He had his head down and his eyes averted. Dean put his hand on his cheek and guided his face up so that their gazes were connected. Castiel looking down at Dean and Dean staring up at him. Dean was completely serious, unlike his usual carefree joking self, when he said,  
"Can I do this?" Castiel was silent for few seconds before nodding slightly and averting his eyes. As soon as Dean moved his hand away Castiel hung his head again and fixed his gaze somewhere in the other side of the room. Dean carefully unzipped Castiel's pants and pulled back his boxers slightly exposing the sticky skin. Dean took the hand that had the cloth in it and slowly started to wash Castiel's skin. Dean was careful to avoid touching anything sensitive but when Castiel sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut Dean knew he had failed. He continued washing while he spoke.  
"I know it's hard but ya' gotta try and hold back. We don't want a repeat of a little bit ago alright?" Castiel nodded but kept his eyes squeezed shut. Dean was getting uncomfortable leaning down and they were running out of time so he grabbed Castiel's hips and and picked him up carrying him to the bathroom. Castiel let out a small squeak at being picked up so suddenly and subconsciously wrapped his arms around Dean's neck to keep from falling. Dean brought him into his small bathroom and set him on the counter with Castiel's arms still draped around his neck. Dean continued wiping at his boxers and jeans until all the stains were out. All that was left was to Clean Castiel. Dean grabbed the front of Castiel's pants and pulled them down a bit exposing Castiel. Castiel started shaking slightly and Dean grabbed his face again and guided him so that they were facing each other but Castiel was still looking away. Dean spoke softly, his thumb caressing Castiel's cheek in a soothing manner.  
"Hey. Hey, look at me, look at me angel." Castiel hesitantly lifted his gaze so that blue met green. Dean put on the most serious face he owned before he continued.  
"I am not going to hurt you. I will never ever hurt you. Okay?" Castiel nodded but he was still shaking. Dean decided to do something that would either help or hurt their situation. Dean leaned forward and locked lips with Castiel. It was soft and calm, very much unlike the kiss they shared earlier. Castiel fell into the kiss and made a reminder to mentally scold himself later. Dean tried as hard as he could to put all of the angel's focus into the kiss while he cleaned him up. Dean had finished cleaning and fixed Castiel's pants, buttoning and zipping them up, but still continued the kiss. He dropped the rag from his hands and brought them up to the sides of Castiel's face deepening the kiss. Castiel moved both of his hands up into dean's hair tugging at it slightly. Dean bit at Castiel's lip making him shudder and gasp a bit. Dean took that opportunity to explore Castiel's open mouth. They stayed that way, lip locked and taking each other in as much as they could before someone cleared their throat from the bathroom door and spoke.  
“Am I interrupting somethin’?”  
Dean and Castiel Both jumped away from each other immediately. Castiel locked his wide eyed gaze with the tiled floor clutching at the side of the counter like his life depended on it. Dean started stuttering and waving his hands in the air.   
"B-B-Bobby! I-It's not what it-, I-I can explain!" Dean was starting to hyperventilate when Bobby walked over to him, grabbed his shoulders, and started shaking him.  
"Boy, quit talking. I don't give a rats ass who ya' date, what gender they are, or what ya’ do with em'. Just 'cause your ol' man was a homophobic son of a bitch don' mean I am. Now come here ya' idjit." And with that bobby pulled Dean towards him and wrapped his arms around him. Dean did the same and as soon as he did Bobby started talking again.   
"I love your stupid ass and don't ya' ever forget that" Dean nodded into Bobby's shoulder.  
"Good." And with that Bobby pushed Dean out so that he was at arm's length and smacked him upside the head.  
"Now what in the Hell are ya' doin' to this poor kid? Haven't you teenagers ever heard of getting to know someone or do you always just go to shovin’ your damn tongues down each others throats?" Dean put his hand nervously on his neck and opened his mouth to speak but before he could get any words out Bobby put one hand in the air motioning for Dean to stay quiet.  
"I don't wanna know Dean. Just get on a shirt that doesn't have holes in the back and- oh for god's sakes change you pants Dean! Be out in five minutes." Bobby started to walk away but Dean scrambled after him and grabbed his sleeve, clutching on to it as a child would. Dean looked up at Bobby with pleading eyes.  
"Bobby, please don't tell Sam or Charlie. Please." Bobby looked down at the boy hanging onto his arm practically for dear life and let out a sigh.  
"I don't get why you are worried boy, they won't judge ya'. Charlie already came out and Sam loves you Dean-"  
"Please, Bobby." Dean interrupted. Bobby looked down at him with sad eyes and sighed.  
"Okay. But i ain't keepin' your secret forever ya hear?" Dean nodded and let go of Bobby's arm. And with that Bobby walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Dean just kept staring at the door until he was interrupted by a small voice.  
" I-I'm sorry about your shirt, Dean." Castiel said trying out Dean’s name for the first time. Dean turned around to see Castiel with his head down staring at the floor with sad blue eyes. Dean walked over to Castiel and put his hands on his hips.  
"Hey, it's fine. This shirt was old anyway. It's no problem." And with that he lifted Castiel up off the counter and placed his feet carefully on the floor. Dean went to let go of Castiel's but as soon as he did Castiel's legs gave out from under him and he fell against Dean, his hands grabbing onto the front of Dean's shirt to keep himself up. Dean wrapped his arms around him to keep him from falling any further and looked down to see bright blue orbs staring back at him. Dean moved one hand up to Castiel's cheek, keeping the other on his waist to support him, and caressed his cheek with his thumb. Dean just stared at Castiel for a few seconds before saying,  
"What is it about you that makes me throw everything I know out the window and just..." Dean started to lean closer to Castiel until their lips brushed together. Castiel's eyes fluttered shut and just..." Dean started to lean closer to Castiel until their lips brushed together. Castiel's eyes fluttered shut and he pulled Dean down just pressing their lips together. Dean pulled away after a bit and just pressed his forehead against Castiel's with his eyes closed. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Castiel pulled away and locked his eyes on the ground.  
"We should get back before they send someone after us again." And with the he started walking out of the bathrooms down towards the door to the hallway. Castiel had his hand on the door knob and was about to turn it when Dean grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and pinned him to the door with his lips and a knee between Castiel’s legs. The kiss was rough and needy. And just as it started it was over leaving Castiel breathless and leaning against the door. Dean turned around and went over to his drawers, pulling out a new shirt and a pair of pants. He took off his shirt and Castiel bit his lip at how toned his back was. Then Dean took his pants off leaving him in just black boxers. Castiel breath hitched at the sight. Dean turned his head to look at Castiel and smirked while putting his hands on his hips.  
"Enjoying the view angel?" Dean said and locked gazes with Castiel. Castiel averted his eyes and fumbled with the door knob taking way too long to open it and rushing out. Dean chuckled and continued to get dressed. Castiel rushed down the hall looking for a bathroom. When he finally found one he ran in and shut the door locking it behind him. He walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face and started slapping his face.   
"What the hell are you doing Castiel?! You're straight! You are as straight as a fucking stick and this was all just due to the shock of being " kidnapped". Yeah that's it." Castiel turned off the water and found a towel to dry his face. Once he was done he took a deep breath and opened the door and started towards the living room.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is shitty. I wrote it at one in the morning and I don't really remember writing it. I found some fanart of what Dean and Cas look like in this story so I'll put the links below in case some of you are confused about what they look like.
> 
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/81/de/ab/81deab3320b5bcad98bd08fcf49e94e4.jpg
> 
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/59/39/bc/5939bc1568185a83eedd7ee83517c530.jpg

When Castiel got to the living room he was met with Charlie sitting on the couch with Sam’s head on her lap while she braided his hair. Bobby was sitting at a desk on the far wall writing something. Castiel smelled food and and looked around until he saw a kitchen and Dean standing in front of the stove stirring things and moving them around. Castiel was snapped out of his food trance when Sam spoke up.  
"Dean is a really good cook. That's about the only thing he's good at, but he's amazing."  
"I heard that and I take offence!" Dean shouted from the kitchen. Castiel smirked at their family banter and his smile slowly faded into a frown as he compared them to his family. Castiel was just standing awkwardly in the entry to the living room. Sam looked like he was about to offer Castiel a seat when Bobby spoke.  
"Castiel right? Can I see you for a second outside?" Castiel visibly stiffened but nodded his head silently like he had seen Dean do many times. Bobby walked out the door and Castiel went to follow him but was stopped by Sam's voice directed at him.  
"Don't worry, he may look a little rough but he's a big softie." and with that Sam gave him a genuine smile. Castiel have him a small smile in return and continued to the door. A soon as he was outside saw Bobby leaning against one of the many cars in the yard with a cigarette. Castiel walked over to him and stood next to him. Bobby looked over to him and offered Castiel the cigarette. Castiel's eyes widened and he was about to protest but Bobby's voice beat his.  
"I know a smoker when I see one kid. I'm not gonna tell anyone, what you do with yourself is your business." Castiel calmed down a bit at that and took the cigarette from the man's hand. Castiel put it up to his lips and took a long slow drag from it ex hailing it through his nose.  
"I've never been much of a fan of the things but I keep a pack around. They come in handy when I gotta keep myself from killing' those damn kids." Castiel let out a small laugh at that and took another drag before speaking.  
"They can't be that bad." Bobby chuckled at that.  
"Okay, you take care of em' for a week." Castiel raised an eyebrow and looked at Bobby with a smile on his face. They both let out a laugh and leaned against the car just sitting in comfortable silence while cas worked on the cigarette. Back in the house Charlie and Sam were glued to the window intently staring at what was on the other side of it. Dean walked in wiping his hands on a towel and laughing at what he saw.  
"What the Hell are you guys doing?" Not moving her eyes from the window Charlie spoke up and said,  
"Cas and Bobby are outside smoking together." At this Dean was peeking his head out the window to get a look at was happening.  
"That's not possible. Bobby doesn't smoke." Dean said not believing what he was seeing.  
"Neither did Castiel to my knowledge until now." Charlie said also not believing what she was seeing. Outside the window they saw Castiel hand Bobby the cigarette and tell him something before Bobby took a long drag from the cigarette. Bobby started coughing and sputtering smoke and Castiel grabbed his stomach laughing. Bobby glared at him and handed Castiel the Cigarette back.  
"What the Hell?" Dean and Charlie said at the same time. Sam just looked at them both and said,  
"Well it looks like we don't know a lot about the people closest to us." Both Dean and Charlie punched him opposite shoulders and simultaneously said,  
“Shut up, Sam!” Sam put his hands in the air and said,  
"Okay, Okay. I'll leave you twins alone." They both glared at him and Sam ran out of the room before they could beat him up more than they already had today. Back outside Castiel had turned into a totally different person. He was confident and actually raised his voice above a whisper. Cigarettes and other things he legally wasn't allowed to have did that to him. He looked over at Bobby, taking another drag of the cigarette before asking,  
"So why did you ask me out here? I'm gonna take a wild guess its about what you walked into earlier?" Castiel smirked and took another drag. Bobby looked serious as he said,  
"Yeah, I wanted to ask ya' somethin'. He didn't, force himself on ya', did he?" It was Castiel's turn to choke on his smoke. Castiel turned red and looked over to see a slightly confused Bobby.  
"Uh, well, yes, but, no? It was an accident a-and, uh, i don't know. I didn't say no, but i didn't say yes." Cas was looking at the ground again. Bobby put a hand on the obviously conflicted boys shoulder before speaking.  
"You wanna' talk about it?"  
Back inside Charlie had managed to quietly open the window so Dean and her could hear what was being said. Castiel sighed and took another drag of the cigarette. He threw it down and stomped it out before speaking.  
"I'm not gay. Well, I've never considered myself gay. I've never even thought about it. I mean. I don't know why the hell i'm telling you this but i'm considered a womanizer. I'll go to parties and sleep with multiple girls at once. I never ever thought that i would be with a guy let alone my best friends brother. I mean, yeah I enjoyed it but it's just natural to react that way when someone touches you right? I don't know. Dean seems nice but that wasn't serious. It was just an unfortunate mistake." Charlie slowly turned around to see a flushed Dean backing away with his hands in the air. He couldn't back up much further though because he bumped into Sam who had snuck back into the room and heard everything. Charlie was the first to speak. Her voice was scary and she was cracking her knuckles as she spoke.  
"Dean. Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Dean look from side to side nervously before shaking his head and saying,  
"No, nope. I'm good, I am good." And with that Dean tried to make a break for it through the kitchen. As soon as he was out the door he was tackled to the ground and Charlie was on his back. Dean pushed her off and started running again but Sam pushed him into a car and held him there. Bobby and Cas were still standing in their same spot just watching what was happening. Castiel looked back at Bobby and said,  
"I take it back, they're pretty bad." Him And Bobby both laughed and focused their attention back on the fighting teens. Charlie had started screaming at Dean.  
"What did you do to poor innocent Cas!?" Dean stared at her with big nervous eyes.  
"Innocent!? You heard what he said! He's not innocent!"  
"Shut up and answer the question Dean." Sam said calmly clearly enjoying his brothers torture and humiliation.  
"I-t was nothing! It was just an accident! It'll never happen again!" Charlie kicked Dean's Skin and he fell to the ground holding his leg.  
"Oh, so Castiel isn't good enough for you now!? Huh?!" Charlie screamed at him. Dean looked up panicky.  
"N-no that's not what i said at all!"  
"Then what is it Dean? Did a girl turn you down so you decided to force yourself on a guy to get your anger out? Huh? You've done some pretty shitty stuff Dean but that's just low Dean! How could y-" Dean rose his voice and interrupted Charlie.  
"It was an accident okay! I tripped and fell on top of him! Things happened and neither of us did anything to stop them! I didn’t force myself on him because I was upset or whatever you said. I-I think I’m, gay." He said the last part softly with his head down. He curled up into a ball waiting for the onslaught of hate that he knew was to come. But it never did. He looked up slightly and saw Bobby in front of him holding out a hand for him to take. He took it and Bobby helped him up to his feet. Dean looked around to see a shocked looking Sam and Charlie who had her hands over her mouth and looked like she was about to cry. Great, Dean though. Now his family hated him. Before he knew what was happening Charlie hand run up to him and hand threw her hands around his waist burying her head in Dean's chest. Dean just looked down at her, shocked and not knowing what to do. Finally a crying Charlie spoke through her sniffling and tears.  
"Oh god Dean. I'm so sorry I kicked you. I thought you were just being a jerk. I didn't know you were serious. I am so sorry." Dean looked even more confused.  
"Y-you don't hate me?" Charlie looked up at Dean with a raised eyebrow and chuckled slightly.  
"Dean, why would I hate you for being yourself? And if I did I would be a hypocrite. I came out when I was 10. I could never hate you Dean. You're my big brother." Sam walked over and wrapped his arms around Dean and Charlie gently.  
"We would never hate you Dean. Honestly I’m hurt that you would think so little of us." Dean rolled his eyes.  
"Bitch."  
"Jerk" and with that they all hugged each other in comfortable silence.  
"Idjits." Bobby said to the side and turned to walk away but didn't get very far. Charlie had grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him into their pile of affection.  
"Family hug!" Charlie said. After an uncomfortable amount of time they all split apart. Dean looked around but Castiel was gone from his spot on the car. Right as he was about to ask about where he had gone Charlie got a text and read it out loud.  
"Hey Charlie, sorry i left so suddenly. Something came up and i didn't want to interrupt you guys." They all looked at each other. Sam shrugged.  
“He would have had to go home soon anyway. I'm going to a friends, Bobby is going to work, and Dean is going to some stupid party." Charlie shrugged.  
"Yeah, i guess you're right." and with that they all walked back inside.


	4. Four

Castiel was having a panic attack. He wasn't gay. He thought Dean was just messing with him but he was actually serious. Before Cas knew where he was going his feet were carrying him away from the junkyard. He didn't know how long he had been running but the sun had set and it the street lamps had turned on. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. 7:34 p.m. Oh thank God. The party Castiel was supposed to go to was in about half an hour. He unlocked his phone and opened his text messages clicking on a very familiar name.  
Hey, Bartholomew, you're going to Meg's party right? -C  
Fuck yeah man! -B  
Great, bring the good stuff. All of it. -C  
Woah, dude you ok? -B  
Bad day that’s all. Just bring it okay? -C  
No problem man. See ya then. -B  
See ya. -C  
And with that Castiel started walking, knowing exactly where he was an that it would be awhile before he made it to Meg's.   
It was 8:25 when he got there and there were already cars all over the lawn and music blazing from every opening in the house. Castiel took off his trench coat and threw it on the lawn before walking around to the back entrance. Once he managed to climb up to the second floor window that led to Meg's room and knocked praying that she was in. The window was immediately opened.  
"Well hey there Clarence." Meg said before pulling Castiel in by his collar. He stumbled and landed standing flush with her. Meg smirked pulled Cas closer to her by his collar. Castiel wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer as well. Meg looked up meeting Castiels blue orbs with her dark grey almost black ones. Cas smirked back at her and they met in a heated kiss. Cas grabbed Megan's thighs and lifted her up so her legs were wrapped around his waist. Cas stumbled over to the wall and leaned Meg against it so that it supported her and he could put his hands to better use. He pushed his hands up under her shirt feeling all of her skin under her clothes. Meg moved her hands from Cas’s collar, sliding them up his neck and settled them in Cas’s hair tugging on it not so gently. Meg shifted her hips creating friction between them. Cas let out a throaty growl throwing his head back slightly. He moved his hands up from her waist and to the sides of her face turning it slightly exposing it to Castiel. He leaned in and quickly started biting and sucking on Meg's Neck leaving red marks and making her moan out. As cas was devouring her neck meg took one of Cas's wrists gently in one of her own hands and started gently planting kisses all over it. She kissed every scar, cut, bruise, and burn on his arm. Meg looked up from what she was doing to see Cas staring back at her breathing heavily. She spoke between kisses.  
“Why do you do this to yourself Clarence?” Cas let out a sigh and said,  
“You know why Meg. You're the only person who does.” Meg was still working on his wrist when she dropped it and swiftly filled Cas’s shirt off. Meg continued kissing at Cas’s wounds trailing down his neck and onto his stomach. Cas shuddered inlet his head fell back as Meg places gentle kisses on the bruises and burns that covered his chest. Meg stopped when she couldn't reach any more of Cas from the position she was in. She put her arms around Cas's neck to steady herself and unwrapped her legs from around his waist. She walked to the other side of the room to a mirror and started fixing her hair and straightening her clothes. As soon as she was done she turned around her dark eyes meeting bright ones.   
"So," She said crossing her arms, "what so important that you had to climb through my window to see me?" Castiel let a smirk play onto his lips but it was quickly replaced by mock hurt.  
"I can't just stop by to see a friend?"  
"No," Meg's face was unchanging. CAstiel let out a sigh. Castiel walked over to the bed and sat with his head in his hands. Meg tiled her head at Castiel's actions just observing him like he was a different species. She sat next to him and out her hand on the side of his head guiding it to rest on her shoulder. She leaned her head against his and started petting his hair.  
"My broken little angel. If only you would let me fix you." Castiel let out a sigh knowing just what she was talking about  
"Killing the people who cause my problems won't fix them Meg." Meg raised her shoulder and said  
"It couldn't hurt to try."  
"Meg, i have no problem with your "side business" but i've told you that i don't want to get involved in it."  
"It pays well. It's not all that bad. You get a name, you find owner of said name, and bang! Easy. And you get to walk away with a shit load of cash." Castiel shifted his head so that he could look at Meg and chuckled.  
"Some of us have a bit more trouble killing people without regret like you do. Ya' know. Some of us have this thing called a guilty conscience and as m=small as mine is it's still there." Meg shrugged again and said,  
"Your loss Clarence." they sat in comfortable silence, well, as silent as it gets with a party going on one floor down. Finally, Meg was the one to break the silence. She got up and started rummaging through her closet throwing things everywhere behind her. Finally she pulled out a brown jacket and a pair of black jeans and threw them at Cas.   
"You look like you've been hanging out in a junkyard, change. I like the shirt though. Didn't take you for a metal kinda' guy but it suits you." Cas put his head down slightly remembering where he got the shirt.   
"IT's not my shirt." Instantly meg was over to him inspecting the shirt thoroughly.  
"Dude no way, outside of a party? Good for you man! I'm glad you don't have to wait for a party to get it on anymore. See you're getting better." Meg finally found the tag of the shirt and after reading it she looked at cas with a smirk.  
"So, my unicorn, who'd ya' get the shirt from. I bet she was hot, i mean, punk chicks tend to be very attractive but you never really know with all the makeup they wear. I honestly don't care cause you're not gonna be with them long enough to see them without their makeup ya know what i'm say-"  
"Meg! you're rambling. You only do that when you know something. Like thats its not a girls shirt." Meg put her hands in the air as a sign of surrender.  
"Ya' got me. I would have never guessed. I always pegged you as straight as straight. But it's your life man, i'm happy you're finding out who you ar-" Before she could finish Cas had sat up fast and smashed his lips against Megs, again. It was sloppy and needy. Cas broke away from the kiss and started at Meg with big scared eyes. He let his head fall defeated, his hands clenched into the back of Megs shirt. Mag wrapped her arm around Cas and started rubbing soothing circles into it while petting his hair.  
"Hey, you don't have to decide what you like okay? You have your whole life to figure it out. Don' beat yourself up over it because youre confused." Cas shook his head.  
"It's just not the same anymore. Now that i've been with him everyone else is just a comparison. Why is this happening to me?" Meg moved her hands to cup the sides of CAs's face and bring his gaze up to meet hers.  
"Castiel Jimmy Novak, I love you with everything i have in this world. I would give my life for you. You are an amazing person and there is nothing wrong with what is happening to you. Your world is not ending and you are not gonna die so calm your cute little ass down. OKay? Listen, It's okay. I went through this too. I'm with this girl right now and ya'know what. It's the best relationship i've ever had. So just let whatever is happening and everything will turn out for the best whether you end up gay, straight, Bi, pansexual polyamorous whatever the hell i don't give a shit. cause you're still my unicorn, and i'll still love you." Castiel was in tears now.   
"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Meg smiled and petted his hair.  
"I should be saying the same thing kid. Now change, there are girls, and guys, down there waiting for you. Go get em' tiger." And with that Meg left the room with a wink and swaying her hips. Cas started at the door for a minute before sighing and beginning to change. He had to admit, Meg did have good fashion taste. dean's AC/DC shirt with a brown jacket with cuffs on the sleeves and the bottom hem, and black skinny jeans. The only thing out of place where his worn out sneakers. He took them off and walked over to Meg's closet to see if he could find anything else. He dug around for a bit before he found a box with 'For my Unicorn' on the top. Castile smiled and picked up the box. He opened it and a pair of black combat boots were inside with a note. He took out the boots first and tried them on for size and comfort.. They fit perfect and they were amazingly comfortable. He picked up the note and began reading. 'I thought you could do with more than one pair of shoes and a style change can never hurt anyone. Love, Meg Masters. He tucked the note in his pocket after reading and Looked himself over in the mirror. He couldn't lie, he looked good. He'd have to get Me something one of these days. And with that he headed to the door that would take him to where he could forget everything and just be himself and not have to worry about anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I had the chapter written i just had to edit it there was no reason for me not to update, I'm sorry. I didn't edit this chapter and it's shitty cause its kinda just a filler cause i have ideas i just keep getting stuck writing the events that lead up to them. I just am lacking motivation in my writing and basically everything else in my life. I'll try harder from now on. Ill try to post another chapter before i go to work tomorrow.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating in so long I just have had a lot going on and I'm also really sorry for the feels filled chapters I'm about to give you. Well, no I'm not really sorry. Tears are my life force. This one is not that bad but i think in about 2 chapters I'm about to dump a boat load of feels on you so get your shock blankets, you may need them. Unless you're as heartless and soulless as me, then we can share popcorn as we watch the characters lives crumble *Insert evil laugh here* Once again, sorry for my shitty writing. I'm taking a class right now to try and get better.

Castiel was having a panic attack. He wasn't gay. He thought Dean was just messing with him but he was actually serious. Castiel mentally slapped himself. Who the fuck would get you off and then say ‘Hey i was just messing around haha. Castiel was an ignorant idiot. Before Cas knew where he was going his feet were carrying him away from the junkyard. He didn't know how long he had been running but the sun had set and it the street lamps had turned on. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. 7:34 p.m. Oh thank God. The party Castiel was supposed to go to was in about half an hour. He desperately need to get fucking drunk and high and remember nothing in the morning. He unlocked his phone and opened his text messages clicking on a very familiar name.  
Hey, Bartholomew, you're going to Meg's party right? -C  
Fuck yeah man! -B  
Great, bring the good stuff. All of it. -C  
Woah, dude you ok? -B  
Bad day that’s all. Just bring it okay? -C  
No problem man. See ya then. -B  
See ya. -C  
And with that Castiel started walking, knowing exactly where he was and that it would be awhile before he made it to Meg's.  
It was 8:25 when he got there and there were already cars all over the lawn and music blazing from every opening in the house. Castiel looked down at himself and immediately decided he wasn't wearing a creepy trenchcoat to a party. He didn't even know why he wore the thing anymore. He took off his trench coat and threw it on the lawn before walking around to the back. He looked up at the second floor window with a sigh before carefully scaling the side of the house. Once he managed to climb up to the second floor window without kiling himself he knocked on it praying that she was in. The window was immediately opened.  
"Well hey there Clarence." Meg said before pulling Castiel in by his collar. They stumbled and landed standing flush with each other. Meg smirked and pulled Cas closer to her by his collar so their noses were almost touching.  
“What a treat, you always know when I'm craving sweets don't ya Clarence?” Meg said her eyes wandering to Castiel's lips and not leaving them. Castiel wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer as well.  
“You know I’m far from sweet Megan.” Meg looked up meeting Castiel's blue orbs with her dark grey almost black ones.  
“Never call me that again” And with that she smashed their lips together in a heated kiss. Cas grabbed Meg's thighs and lifted her up so her legs were wrapped around his waist as he stumbled over to the wall pinning her against it so that it supported her and he could put his hands to better use. He pushed his hands up under her shirt feeling all of her skin under her clothes. Meg moved her hands from Cas’s collar, sliding them up his neck and settled them in Cas’s hair tugging on it not so gently. Meg shifted her hips creating friction between them. Cas let out a throaty growl throwing his head back slightly. He moved his hands up from her waist and to the sides of her face turning it slightly exposing it to Castiel. He leaned in and quickly started biting and sucking on her neck leaving red marks and making her let out a series of not so appropriate noises that made Castiel smirk against her neck.. As Cas was devouring her neck meg took one of Cas's wrists gently in one of her own hands and started gently planting kisses all over it. She kissed every scar, cut, bruise, and burn on his arm. Meg looked up from what she was doing to see Cas had stopped what he was doing and was staring back at her breathing heavily. She spoke between kisses.  
“Why do you do this to yourself Clarence?” Castiel averted his and let out a sigh.  
“You know why Meg. You're the only person who does.” Meg was still working on his wrist when she dropped it and swiftly lifted Cas’s shirt off. Meg continued kissing at Cas’s wounds trailing down his neck and onto his stomach. Cas shuddered and let his head fell back as Meg placed gentle kisses on the bruises and burns that covered his chest. Meg stopped when she couldn't reach any more of Cas from the position she was in. She put her arms around Cas's neck to steady herself and unwrapped her legs from around his waist landing on her feet and detaching herself from Castiel. She walked to the other side of the room to a mirror and started fixing her hair and straightening her clothes. As soon as she was done she turned around her dark eyes meeting bright ones.  
"So," She said crossing her arms, "what so important that you had to climb through my window to see me?" Castiel let a smirk play onto his lips but it was quickly replaced by mock hurt.  
"I can't just stop by to see a friend?"  
"No," Meg's face was unchanging. Castiel let out a sigh and picked up his shirt from where it lay on the floor putting it back on. Castiel walked over to the bed and sat with his head in his hands. Meg tiled her head at Castiel's actions just observing him like he was a different species. Cautiously she sat next to him and put her hand on the side of his head guiding it to rest on her shoulder. She leaned her head against his and started petting his hair.  
"My broken little angel. If only you would let me fix you." Castiel let out a sigh knowing just what she was talking about  
"Killing the people who cause my problems won't fix them Meg." Meg shrugged her shoulders and said  
"It couldn't hurt to try."  
"Meg, I have no problem with your "side business" but I've told you that I don't want to get involved in it."  
"It pays well. It's not all that bad. You get a name, you find owner of said name, and bang! Easy. And you get to walk away with a shit load of cash." Castiel shifted his head so that he could look at Meg and chuckled.  
"Some of us have a bit more trouble killing people without regret like you do. Ya' know. Some of us have this thing called a guilty conscience and as small as mine is it's still there." Meg shrugged again and said,  
"Your loss Clarence." They sat in comfortable silence, well, as silent as it gets with a party going on one floor down. Finally, Meg was the one to break the silence. She got up and started rummaging through her closet throwing things everywhere behind her. Finally she pulled out a brown jacket and a pair of black jeans and threw them at Cas.  
"You look like you've been hanging out in a junkyard, change. I like the shirt though. Didn't take you for a metal kinda' guy but it suits you." Cas put his head down slightly remembering where he got the shirt.  
"It's not my shirt." Instantly Meg was over to him inspecting the shirt thoroughly. Pulling on the hem, looking at the tag, smelting the shirt. Cas jerked away.  
“Meg! What the fuck?! You’re such a creep” Cas said trying to keep the smile at his best friends creepyness off his face.  
“You know you love me, creepy assassin and all.” Cas rolled his eyes and muttered a ‘fuck you’ under his breath.  
"So, my unicorn, who'd ya' get the shirt from. I bet she was hot, i mean, punk chicks tend to be very attractive but you never really know with all the makeup they wear. I honestly don't care cause you're not gonna be with them long enough to see them without their makeup ya know what i'm say-"  
"Meg! you're rambling. We both know this is a guys shirt so drop the act" Meg put her hands in the air as a sign of surrender.  
"Ya' got me. I would have never guessed. I always pegged you straight as they get. Shows you how good of a detective I am. But it's your life man, I'm happy you're finding out who you ar-" Before she could finish Cas had sat up fast and smashed his lips against Megs, again. It was sloppy and needy. Cas broke away from the kiss and started at Meg with big scared eyes. He let his head fall defeated, his hands clenched into the back of Megs shirt. Mag hesitantly wrapped her arms around Cas and started rubbing soothing circles into it while petting his hair.  
“I’m so confused” Castiel said in the most broken and defeated voice Meg had ever heard him use.  
"Hey, you’re gonna be fine. You don't have to decide what you like, okay? You have your whole life to figure it out. Don' beat yourself up over it because you're confused." Cas shook his head.  
"It's just not the same anymore. Now that I've been with him everyone else is just a comparison. I tried thinking back to all the other people I’ve been with and all I can this of is how he was better than them. For gods sakes Meg we didn’t even have sex! Why is this happening to me?" Meg moved her hands to cup the sides of Cas' face and bring his gaze up to meet hers.  
"Castiel Jimmy Novak, I love you with everything I have in this world. I would give my life for you. You are an amazing person and there is nothing wrong with what is happening to you. Your world is not ending and you are not gonna die so calm your cute little ass down. Okay? Listen, It's okay. I went through this too. I'm with this girl right now and ya'know what. It's the best relationship I've ever had. So just let whatever is happening and everything will turn out for the best whether you end up gay, straight, bi, pansexual, polyamorous, demi transgender with a preference to toasters or whatever the Hell I don't give a shit! Because you're still my unicorn, and I'll still love you." Castiel was in tears now.  
"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Meg smiled and petted his hair.  
"I should be saying the same thing kid. Now change, there are girls, and guys, down there waiting for you so go get em' tiger." And with that Meg left the room with a wink and sway in her hips. Cas started at the door for a minute before sighing and beginning to change. He had to admit, Meg did have good fashion taste. Dean's AC/DC shirt with a brown jacket with cuffs on the sleeves and the bottom hem, and black skinny jeans. The only thing out of place where his worn out sneakers. He took them off and walked over to Meg's closet to see if he could find anything else. He dug around for a bit before he found a box with 'For my Unicorn' on the top. Castiel smiled and picked up the box. He opened it and a pair of black combat boots were inside with a note. He took out the boots first and tried them on for size and comfort. They fit perfect and they were amazingly comfortable. He picked up the note and began reading. 'I thought you could do with more than one pair of shoes and a style change can never hurt anyone. Your one true love, Meg Masters.’ He tucked the note in his pocket with smile after reading and looked himself over in the mirror. He couldn't lie, he looked good. He'd have to get Meg something one of these days. And with that he headed to the door that would take him to where he could forget everything and just be himself and not have to worry about anything.


End file.
